On june 23 I wrote "New beginings....I talk about them alot.But I think something's going to happen soon" if only I knew then how right I was.
on June 29, I wrote "I've met someone I'll wait for.How many times have I said "i'm tired of waiting on/for you" Maybe I'm just impatient.But there he was, sitting there like he owned the world. Probably unware of so. And now I'm waiting. But I don't mind this time."
the thing is, I didn't think I'd be waiting this long. And I still don't mind, and it's scaring me. There are times when I think it's slightly pathetic to still wait, after all, if nothing has happened by now, it probably never will. But boys like him don't come around to often, almost never. I still believe there is hope for everything. My friends say it doesn't make sense. The whole me not giving up. this has lasted longer than a lot of relationships had. But the thing is, when you meet someone like this, you can't just wake up one day and say "this has gone on for too long" and make the feelings disappear. And I suppose most normal people would have told him how they feel by now. But, let's face it, i"m not quite normal. And I"ve really thought about it. But he's been going through some rough times, and i figured, right now he just needs a good friend to be there for him. And I"m going to do that. He doesn't need another girl chasing after him to feed his ego. I'm not sure if that's a good way to look at it, but it's how I see it.
So I guess I'll keep on waiting, and hope something works out, or someone else comes along as great as I made this person out to be.
I've been keeping up this blog for about 8 months now. maybe 9. I don't think I've changed too much. Maybe I have matured, but with everything that's happened, I had too. As you probably figured, I still feel the exact same about the same boy. But maybe it's gotten stronger as I've gotten to know him more. I still talk too much. I'm still optimistic about almost everything. I kind of wish I had changed just to keep up with everyone around me. But then again, I'm quite satisfied with being myself.
long enough, eh?
ps. -I kind of hope you read this.
