I want to

I want to lay under the stars with you
talk about how crazy we are about life
share ideas
make connections
drink cheap coffee
and talk about all the possibilities we have.
I want to dance in the rain
and not care that we get wet
I want to live.
I want to share experiences with you
try new things that I wouldn't have done if I hadn't met you
hold hands just because we can
talk about all the things we're passionated about
because you see, people like us don't just have hobbies or interests
we have passions. Live life to the fullest
let the fire burn inside of us
and never burn out
we'll be known as the kids who are crazy
about life and each other
or even just crazy
but we'll be damn proud.

Oh, yet another thing I didn't write right now

copied and pasted from my buzznet.
I really want you to read it. My message must get across.
You know, I'm crazy about you


I was begining to miss this
Pointless conversations begin to mean something.
silly thoughts start to seem practical.
Why do you think I'm getting this attached to you?
Our eyes transfixed upon each others like our lives depended on it. We couldn't see to well in the dark, but the moon and stars helped us out. Sifting. Left to right. Think quickly before I say something too stupid. I end up telling a random story from my day. The wonderul thing is you still seem interested. Babble on more, just because awkward conversation is better than awkward silence. We're slowly learning more about each other, even though I'm certain that no matter what, I'll never figure you out. Take a step closer. No, too close, now take one back, right where we started. You say something intelligent, and I can only nod. After a while, I say I understand. I understand, and I really mean it. It kind of scares me. You say you have to go do more important things, I nod, but not in agreement. Walk away, the last ten minutes going through my head. Someone told me not to get too attached. You know I've never been one to listen.
I feel like I should say thank you for something, but I'm not sure what.
3am.
goodnight

This is what I do
when I'm waiting patiently for any means of communication from you.

Looking at the stars outside
'Wish you were here' doesn't even cut it
replaying all your words, in which I abide
wrap my arms around myself because your not here to do it.

Let's stay wide and starry eyed
But let's do it together
Let's sit and confide
in each other like it'll be like that forever

I hope we'll get it right this time
Even though I was really the only one screwing up the whole time.
<3<3

Extreme ups and downs

Right now it's up.
Amazing feeling right now. A far cry from how I was a few days ago.
But nothing much has changed. I feel the same way about the same boy. He still doesn't care. but my outlook has changed, I guess.
I was listening to smashing pumkins on my lunch break today. The point is, while eating my veggie wrap, I felt amazing. Like something just clicked, if that makes sense.
I miss old friends, I hope to see you soon.
I love new friends, I'm glad I see you.
The other day I almost hopped on a bus that would take me down valley, Just for no reason. Getting away sounded nice. Something spontaneous. But I was about 1 dollar short.
I want to get out of the house. I want to live. But right now it's 11 pm and pouring rain.
let's fall back in touch and love.
xo

Maybe

Just maybe we can own the world together.

Or act like that.

I wanna be unstoppable.



What happens when conversations and possibilities run out?

I'm just going to try to live in the now

Forget it

My impatience is already getting the best of me.
I'm going to take an ambien, and clock out for the night.
I'll deal with all this in the morning.
goodnight.

So oblivious

I'm so scared of giving up. But that possibility is looking greater.
I knew i've always set my standards too high.
I'm a wishful thinker (with the worst intentions)
Some say I keep my head in the clouds, but I don't mind. Maybe it's good.
One person told me I always look like I'm waiting for something.
Aren't we all?
Another told me I always look like I'm daydreaming. Of course I am.
I want to break the rules.
I want to keep my head in the clouds.
I want to do something that gets them talking.
But what?
You tell me to take chances (everyone does, actually) but what are you doing?

"Caller 10 with the loudest cry for missing an act of fate
And you and I end up where we're not supposed to
We all have a match if we can make the connection
So when your time comes make sure you're paying attention to it
She's sitting on the other side
He sees her as he's walking by
Oh no, there's a chair ahead
And he falls down,
his face is red
And she laughs and goes back to work
And for him it's no surprise
Oh no, she lost her chance
Because she didn't catch his eye
Caller 10 with the loudest cry for missing an act of fate
And you and I end up where we're not supposed to
We all have a match if we can make the connection
So when your time comes make sure you're paying attention to it
You gotta keep your eyes so open wide
Look left to right
Look up and down, turn around
Because you never know when lost becomes found
Look left to rightLook up and down, turn around"

I need to take some kind of break.

xo