because I already have enough apologies to make. It's interesting...how much you can fuck something up in just a few hours. a lot has changed since I've talked to you. I kind of wish that you realized when i called you, "do you want to chill?" meant something more. Not exactly an "I need help" but an "i've had a rough day and want someone there" I understand you were busy. Busy doing other things, with other people. But I'm starting to think if I had done one thing different, called one other person, I wouldn't feel so terrible now.
You see, it was one of those days where everthing should have been great, but something felt off. I kind of wanted to relax with someone; I miss connecting. Instead I ended up being selfish and hurting someone I really care(d) about. I guess this is the point of all of this-I'm sorry. You know who you are. There's really no excuse for what I did. And I know I"m human and as a homosapien we're going to screw things up. And as humans we're going to try and blame other people, for our own faults. When we do fuck up, we have to accept in, apologize, hope for forgivness and move on. So this is where the apology comes in.
Onto lighter things-
Well, I can't think of any lighter things.
I'm curious though- is there something wrong with me? I've been nothing but a good friend to you. I've been there for you, and let you know that whenever you need me I'd be there, just like that. I hate people being upsept, especially you. But instead of coming to me, you run to whatever girl it is this week. And after that doesn't work out, that's when you come to me. I listen to you talk about how great you thought she was, but how something was wrong. I just want to kow- what about me? There is something wrong with me. (other than me being the needy person I am)
I need to stop being so hard on myself.
ok bye
